Memories Are Made Of This
by Richess SpikeLover
Summary: Buffy comes back from the dead, but something isn't quite right. Set directly after The Gift. A Buffy/Spike ship.


Untitled Document Memories Are Made Of This By: Richess a.k.a A.N.H. Richards & Hilary a.k.a. SpikeLover UK 

Email: spikeloverrichess@hotmail.com

Summary: This is an alternative ending to The Gift. Buffy comes back, but not fully. This is a S/B fic 

Disclaimer: All Characters belong to J. Whedon, Mutant Enemy Productions, and/or Fox Production and etc. We own nothing.

Author's notes: Thanks to Python Chick for the beta.

  
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Part 1

The three strangers, walking toward the group of mourners, had witnessed the last moments of the Slayer's life and her death. They saw the witch cry and the vampire weep. They observed as their Key descended the stairs, painfully.

They knew what must be done. They knew that this was not meant to be. They knew that they could change the future, no matter what the cost. A true battle had been forged and great warrior was lost, but not goneat least not completely.

* * *

Xander was the first to notice the three robed men walking toward the group. Dawn gasped as she saw the monks walking toward them. She feared that they were here to get their Key.

Giles step forward as the men rushed to Buffy's side. They began to chant instantly and sprinkled something over Buffy. Then they cut a small piece of her hair and wove it into a circle, placing it on her broken body.

Tara looked at the men strangely, catching some of their Latin words here and there, but not completely understanding.

Buffy's eyes fluttered. Spike stepped forward, getting burned by the sun. Giles grabbed a piece of tarp and covered the vampire from the early morning sun. Dawn rushed toward Buffy's side crying in pain, both physical and emotional the whole way. Her sister was being brought back to life, this much she knew. The sky suddenly turned black and thunder loomed in the distance.

Buffy's eyes continued to flutter and she inhaled deeply, taking in a long painful breath. The sound of bones cracking and the blood that spilled from her mouth made the Scoobies gasp. Spike stood up as the sun receded behind the clouds.

The monks continued to chant and Buffy's body relaxed slowly, her breathing was shallow but steady as blood and saliva continued to trickle from the side of her mouth and a small trail of blood left her ears. Her eyes closed but her breathing was more than enough to satisfy the monks. The three turned toward the eldest man they knew was her Watcher.

The first one spoke with a heavy accent. "We have undone what should never have happened. Thisher death was our doing and we will let her live out her life. It was our fault that we brought the abomination to her door. She will live but she must find her way back. Her body will heal, but her spirit is searching. She needs to find herself."

Willow sobbed in relief and the others stood silent, looking at the breathing and now living Slayer.

"Thank you," Dawn cried holding her sister's hand. "Thank you."

"You must not thank us yet. We need the Key back." 

"Like bloody hell you do." Spike growled limping toward Dawn. Willow also stepped away from Tara to shield Dawn. 

"No, you misunderstand." another monk protested as tension filled the air. 

Giles stepped forward. A glint of something wild in his eyes made the third monk take a step back. "Well make us understand." 

The first one continued. "Life. We can restore it, create it and change it but not undo it. We cannot kill it. We can separate the Key from the girl. It is simple; now that the abomination is gone we can do it. It will take only seconds." 

"Really?" Dawn said quickly. "Do it!"

"No! You don't know the consequences." Giles said sternly.

"Buffy died because of me. I don't think that anything they do can be worse. Just do it. Please."

"Fine," Giles grumbled. He turned toward the leader. "But if anything happens to her"

The monk understood his intention. The other monks nodded silently in understanding as they encircled Dawn. They began to chant around her. Dawn felt weak at the knees, her body suddenly feeling heavier with each word. She collapsed to the ground crying in pain. Giles stepped forward but Spike stopped him.

Dawn felt her body was being ripped in two. Her mind felt fragmented as she screamed in pain. The sound of the police sirens could be heard in the distance. Suddenly, Dawn stopped moving as they continued to chant, which frightened the group more than her screams.

Everyone watched as a light green mist left Dawn's body, and swirled into a perfect sphere, suspended in the air. The monks took it and put it into a crafted wooden box.

"She will be fine. The Key has been returned. The Knights will no longer come." the leader spoke. The three turned and looked at the two heroic young women and left quickly into the thunderous morning.

* * *

The rain began to poor in seconds. Spike picked up Dawn and Giles lifted Buffy's body gently. The bruised, battered, and broken group left the site that had witnessed their defeat and their triumph. They had stopped the end of the earth as they knew it, but at what cost?

They would soon find out.

* * * 

Part 2 - 2 weeks later

Dawn made a point of not looking into Buffy's room as she made her way downstairs for breakfast. The monks had implied that it would take time for Buffy to be fully restored, and although Dawn was glad that her sister was back, she couldn't bear to see her lying there, comatose. She just wanted her to wake up and be Buffy again. Still, it would happen soon enough. Dawn just wished they would hurry up.

As she crept downstairs, Dawn smiled as she saw Spike's duster thrown carelessly over the arm of the couch, which meant he'd returned safely from patrol. She knew that he was more than capable of taking care of himself, but she still worried. He hadn't been the same since Buffy had been gone for those few seemingly endless minutes, and he was still recovering from the wounds he'd received at Doc's hands. Dawn shuddered at the memory. Spike could quite easily have been the one who was killed that night. If he'd fallen on any of the wooden construction material, he'd have been dust. Dawn shook her head, trying to banish the images from her mind. Spike was still among the unliving, and Buffy would be back with them soon too. She walked into the kitchen to get some breakfast and that was when she heard the moan.

It didn't take her long to realise that it was coming from the basementfrom Spike. She froze for a moment, fear clutching at her heart, before she opened the door to the basement and descended down the stairs. When she reached the bottom, she squinted, her eyes trying to adjust to the darkness. The small, and only, window had been covered with a blanket, and it took her a minute or so before she could make out Spike's form lying on the cot they had set up for him. He moaned again and shifted on the bed. Dawn walked over and crouched at his side.

"Spike? Are you hurt?"

"Dawn..." The voice, which called her name, was rough and sleep-filled.

"Yeah, it's me," she replied. "Are you OK?"

"Noget away from her" Spike's voice was filled with desperation and, as he began to toss and turn, Dawn realised he was dreaming. She shook him.

"Spike?"

"No...Buffy...don't...." he pleaded, still caught in his nightmare. Dawn shuddered; she knew exactly what was happening. He was reliving what happened the night Buffy died. She'd had the same dream herself and knew how bad it was. She shook him harder.

"Spike, wake up."

"Please," he begged, his voice choked with tears. "BUFFY!"

He jerked himself awake and shot bolt upright. Dawn quickly sat on the bed and wrapped her arms around him, stroking his hair and rocking him gently as he shivered.

"Shh, it's OK."

"I couldn't save her," he whispered. "She asked me to do one thing and I couldn't even get that right."

Dawn pulled back. "Spike, you know what happened to Buffy wasn't your fault."

He snorted. "Yeah, because I stopped you from getting cut and Buffy didn't die."

Dawn put on the sternest face she could. "It. Wasn't. Your. Fault. Nobody blames you, not me and not Buffy. I'm sure she'll tell you that herself when she wakes up. Look, I have to go to school now. Try and go back to sleep, just remember you did all you could and that's all any of us could have asked."

She kissed his forehead and ran back upstairs. When she was out of sight, Spike sighed. "But it wasn't enough."

  
* * *

Part 3

"And what exactly are *you* doing here?" a voice asked Buffy from behind.

She turned toward the voice to see two familiar faces.

"Jesse? Kendra?" Buffy asked as she moved toward the couple.

"Yes, Buffy?" they both asked.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't save you when I had the chance."

"It's kind of fate. You know." Jesse shrugged. "But, hey, I finally got that hot girl I've always been looking for." Jesse snuggled next to Kendra who smiled.

"This is weird." Buffy whispered to herself.

"Not all that weird." a strong Irish accent blared from behind her. "True happiness is found here. Love is here."

"But where is here?"

"Here is where everything goes."

"Huh?"

"We have given you hints Buffy. Of your fate. But, hey, you and me, champions to the end, huh." Doyle's crystal blue eyes pierced hers. The warmth in that look was familiar.

"I don't..."

"You never listened."

"About what?"

"'Little Miss Muffet'...'Counting down'...'730'...'be back before Dawn'. Gosh, you never listened." Doyle said, disappointed.

"Well, stop putting things in riddles and I might get it." Buffy said, getting angry.

"Your chance at true happiness. We made it possible, but you never took it." Doyle shook his head.

"Stop with the bloody riddles and just tell me."

"Ah ha! See? There. Bloody riddles. Jeesh, we could have put a big neon sign above his head and you wouldn't have seen it."

Buffy opened her mouth to speak but her mind suddenly went blank. She felt numb with fear. The air suddenly changed. His mood suddenly changed. She turned back to see Doyle, Jesse and Kendra. They were very distant but Buffy hadn't moved. She turned to see a face that she had seen before.

"And now it's too late. You must come with me." Doc said, grabbing her arm.

"No! She's not going with you!" Kendra yelled. "She is going back. They called her back and she is going."

"Yeah, Kenny is right. She's going back." Jesse yelled at Buffy. "Go before they get you."

"Huh? I don't understand. I'm lost. I don't..."

"Don't worry, darlin', he can't hurt you." Doyle yelled.

"Go now before you're gone. Before all of you goes. It's not too late. Find your way back." Kendra yelled. Jesse and Doyle faded away.

"No, Buffy, you must come with me; it's already starting. We need your soul. We need you to come with me." Doc said calmly.

"No, Buffy, don't listen to him. Buffy, look into his eyes. Please believe me. You were my sister. We fought side by side. Remember me. Trust in me. Remember Mr. Pointy. I gave him to you." Kendra cried and she never cried.

Buffy looked into Doc's solid black eyes and screamed. She ran back toward Kendra, but she was so far away. Familiar voices filled her ears as she looked down below to see herself.

"Please hurry, Buffy, before it's all gone. Before they take everything." Kendra's voice sounded distant in the dark haze the surround her. Buffy pounded the barrier that suspended her above herself. She continually pounded. Suddenly she forgot where she was. But she knew what she must do. She pounded and pounded and finally the barrier broke. She fell toward herself and then everything went black.

* * *

Part 4

"Happy birthday, Dawn," Willow smiled as she handed the teenager her gift. "It's from me and Tara."

"Thanks." Dawn smiled as the two witches entered the house. They were the last. Giles, Xander and Anya were already there. As the two girls sat down, Dawn realised that this was the first time they'd all been together since the battle with Glory. She wished Spike would hurry back; he'd arranged this after all. Dawn had casually mentioned it was her birthday and when he asked her what she wanted, she'd told him that she wanted the gang back together, even if it was just for one night. They were all so busy these days. Xander and Anya were preparing for the wedding, Giles had the shop to run, and Willow and Tara were making up for lost time. She still saw them all; they'd often come and visit her and sit with Buffy for a while. But they were never all together like this.

Dawn glanced at the front door; Spike had insisted on patrolling. He told her he'd just do a quick one, and he'd be back before the end of the party. Buffy wouldn't want it unchecked. It was always about Buffy.

"So, Dawnster," said Xander. "Do you feel all old now?"

She forced a smile. Everyone was trying so hard to act normal, but they were all refusing to talk about Buffy. You could cut the tension in the air with a knife. "I guess," she replied. "Wow. I'm fifteen now. Buffy was this age when she started Slaying."

She regretted the words before they'd even left her mouth. She really wished Spike was here. Silence fell over the room and Willow looked as though she was about to cry.

"Yes," said Giles softly. "She was."

"How is Buffy anyway?" Xander asked, realising that now the subject had been mentioned, there was no escaping it.

"The same," Dawn replied. "I know the monks said it would take time, but should it be taking this long? It's been three weeks."

"This has never happened before. There's no way we can know what to expect." Giles explained patiently. He understood her frustration all too well. They all felt it.

Dawn stood up. "I'm going to go and check on her quickly; see if there's any change."

They all nodded and she disappeared upstairs.

* * *

Dawn gently pushed the door to Buffy's room open and stepped inside. Her sister lay in bed, the same as ever. Dawn studied her face closely. She looked peaceful and the colour had returned to her cheeks, which meant she was obviously getting stronger. Dawn was sure it would only be a matter of time before Buffy woke up and everything went back to the way it was. She knew the others thought what had happened to Buffy was her fault. They didn't say it of course, but she knew they felt it. The only one who didn't was Spike; and that was only because he blamed himself. 

She wished she could explain to them what it had been like up on that tower. How she had been willing to end her own life in order to close the portal but that Buffy had stopped her. Buffy had seemed so calm when she told her what she was going to do, almost happy that it was all going to be over. Maybe Dawn should have insisted more, forced Buffy to step aside, but she'd been so scared.

Dawn was jolted from her thoughts as she heard a noise coming from the bed. She looked down at Buffy and her breath caught in her throat. Buffy's eyes were flickering beneath the lids.

"Buffy?" she whispered, not daring to hope that she might be waking up.

Buffy's senses assaulted her all at once. Her blood pounded in her ears, the air pricked at her skin and every breath she took burned her throat. All she knew was that she had to get through this 'birthing pain'. That there was somewhere she was meant to be. She forced her eyes open, despite the fact that the light stung them. She blinked past it and her vision focused on a young girl. She must only have been in her early to mid teens and she had a huge grin plastered on her face.

"Buffy! You're awake."

Buffy? She was pretty sure that was her name, but she had no idea who this girl was.

"I'm going to get the others!" the girl said excitedly. "They'll be so happy you're awake."

_Others?_ This didn't sound good, she needed to collect her thoughts and figure out what was going on and why she didn't know this girl when she apparently should.

The door opened again and a whole group of people filed in, looking at her expectantly. Buffy looked at them each in turn, hoping that one of them would be more familiar to her than the other girl had been. The first to approach the bed was a girl with red hair; she had tears in her eyes as she pulled her into a hug.

"I'm so glad you're all right." she whispered. Buffy hugged her back, unsure what else to do.

The hugging process was repeated by the rest of the group. Another girl who seemed to be close to the redhead, a young man who looked to be the same age as the others, and another girl who was obviously the young man's girlfriend, judging by the way she clung to him. Finally a much older manher father maybe. She didn't know.

"We'll leave you to rest now." said the older man and he coaxed the rest of the group out of the room, save the young girl who sat on the edge of the bed.

"I know you're tired, but is it okay if I send Spike up to see you when he gets back? He's been really worried; we have all been."

_I know someone called Spike? It sounds like a dog's name_. With a name like that she wasn't sure she wanted to see him. The girl seemed oblivious to this.

"I'll just tell him to pop his head around the door. If you're asleep or too tired he can always come back later. I'll let you rest now."

The girl left and Buffy sank back into the pillow, feeling drained from the whole thing. This was definitely not good. She couldn't remember anything or anyone.

* * *

  
Part 5

After everyone left, Buffy sat still in total confusion and shock. Why couldn't she remember these people, especially after they had all looked at her so tenderly and lovingly? Her brain was on overload with questions, but all she wanted to do was get into a hot shower. Maybe, she thought, it would help her clear up her memories.

She stood on shaky legs. They were stiff and felt like rubber. She sat back down quickly as the feeling slowly came back to her legs. It took her nearly twenty minutes to find her underwear drawer and something suitable to wear. She left her bedroom, hearing the cluttered and excited voices downstairs. She knew that they were talking about her and all she wanted to do get away from them. She was nearly exhausted just looking into every room trying to find the bathroom. When she finally found it at the end of the hall she breathed a sigh of relief and turned on the shower at full blast.

* * *

Spike could hear all the noise and excitement as brought in Dawn's present from the kitchen door. He set down the bowed box and walked into the room. He knew that Dawn thought the other presents he gave her were it, but he had decided to get her one more thing. He smiled knowing that she would be all giddy.

He walked into the room and saw the gang and Dawn sitting all on an emotional high. He slowly observed the gangs smiling faces and wished that Buffy could be awake to see them.

Dawn turned to see Spike and large pink box. She gushed as she saw the present and his slight smile. Spike saw the tears in Dawn's eyes and knew of the only thing that could make her cry and be happy at the same time. The room went silent. Dawn just looked at Spike and he just knew. Buffy was awake. His vampiric senses could hear the water running and the pipes of the house working.

"Buffy?" he whispered. The smile that appeared on Willow's face confirmed it. He nearly dropped the box, but took a deep breath. Dawn grabbed the box from his hands; it was actually very light. She set it on the ground and opened the top to see a small figure with large green eyes inside staring up at her. Dawn screamed in excitement as the creature jumped out at her. The gang watched and laughed. As soon as the beast stopped its assault and she jumped up and kissed Spike on the cheek. The playful animal jumped into Anya's lap who cried out in terror.

"It's fuzzy, like a bunny. It's a bunny with longer legs." Anya shrieked. Everyone groaned at Anya and Tara took the small grey kitten out of her lap.

"Go and see her; I know you want to." Dawn whispered into his ear. Spike kissed the top of her head and then bolted up the stairs taking them two at a time.

* * *

He knocked on the door twice before he opened it slowly. He saw Buffy standing in front of her dresser mirror looking at herself, her hair still damp from the shower and wearing a dark blue T-shirt and shorts

She looked up at him, her eyes large and round. She didn't know what to expect from this guy. Who the hell was he? Buffy blinked and they looked at the pain and happiness the appeared evident on his sculpted face.

"Buffy." he gasped as he rushed toward her and grabbed her in a strong embrace.

Buffy stood still as the leather-draped strange held her. Her arms slowly reached around him underneath the coat and returned the embrace. Spike revelled in the warmth of her skin and smell of her that was all too familiar. Tears sprang to his eyes. Her arms surrounding his body and the small sigh that she made in his arms was definitely something he noticed, but when her thumbs began to move in a stroking motion on the thin material of his shirt, he knew this was not something Buffy would do. At least not with him.

"Buffy?" Spike asked as he abruptly pulled away. The tears still blinded him, but they weren't threatening to spill. He looked at her face and then looked down and then his eyes trapped her in a soul-searching stare. Something wasn't right.

Buffy felt naked in his gaze. She saw the tears in his eyes wanted to comfort this stranger but she knew that he was sensing something was off about her. "Buffy?"

"Yes?"

"What do you remember about what happened to you?" Spike asked, his eyes never leaving her face. He watched every line that played on her face as she tried to remember. She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out.

"Ok, something easier then, pet. Who am I?" Spike asked.

What had the cute, brown-haired girl said? Something that sounded like a dog's nameSpud, Sp, Sp, Spike. That's who he must be. Spike. "Spike! You're Spike."

"Fine then, BuffyWhat am I?" Spike asked, knowing that she wasn't going to answer this question right.

"You're a guy. A very cute guy?" Buffy smiled and then blushed.

Spike closed his eyes and swallowed hard. Obviously Buffy deciphered that was the wrong answer from his reaction. He walked her toward the bed and sat her down. Buffy felt a wave of panic. She knew that he knew. _She doesn't remember anything about anyone of the people in this house not even herself_, he said to himself. Spike could hear her heart accelerate.

"What do you remember, Buffy." Spike asked, kneeling in front of her. He looked into her hazel eyes and waited for an answer. He prayed she was only missing a year, but not everything. Since he had only met her three years ago, maybe she'd only lost part of her memory.

She looked down at the gentle soul before her, not even knowing that he no longer had one, as he waited for her answer. "Nothing really. I don't know who any of those people are, or where I am. Or who you are." Buffy took a shaky breath before she continued. " Or how old I am or what my full name is."

"Why didn't you say something, luv? Those people would have helped you; they love you. They are your friends and your sister, Dawn. She'd still be here with you."

"I don't want them here. All of them looking at me and feeling sorry for me, and they were so relieved to see me." Buffy felt a tear stream down her face. Spike quickly brushed it, leaned up and hugged her. Buffy began to sob into his chest. Her body trembled in exhaustion and fear of the unknown. Buffy looked up at him with her tired eyes. "You can't tell them, please. I don't want them to worry. They seemed so happy and if they knew"

"But you need to know them again; they are like your family. They would want to help you."

"No, please give me a chance to put my life back together. Please. I'm begging you. This is bad enough having a life with people who know and love you, and you don't know anything about them." She wiped the tears off of her face.

Spike could hear her stomach growl. "Ok, pet, you need something to eat."

Buffy face turned a shade of red, and chuckled slightly. "Yeah, I guess."

"All right, luv. I'll help you with you memories as much as I can. And we better start tonight. Those people down there are your friends. The dark haired boy is Xander, and the appendage on his hip is Anya. The redhead is Willow, but you call her Will. And the girl with her. The one with the broken arm, is Tara. The older guy is..."

"Is he my father?" Buffy asked, confused.

"Hell, no!" Spike wondered if this was going to be a good idea. "He's your Watcher."

"He watches me?" Buffy asked sceptically, wondering if this Spike was off his rocker.

"Yes, I'll explain later. You call him Giles. He's like you father but no blood relation. Just trust me. Now the only one left is Dawn; that's your sister."

"The one with eyes like mine?" Buffy remembered looking at the young girl.

"Yes, you call her Dawn and sometimes Dawnie. Today is her birthday, just remember that."

"Kay. And you?"

"Well, as you guessed, I'm Spike, and you kind of like me but you don't like me. We have an understanding. Just pretend I'm like a new friend."

"You are." Buffy gave a half smile. Spike held her hand and smiled back.

"Ok, you ready to go downstairs?"

"Yeah, lead me to your ship." Buffy smiled at her joke.

Spike looked at her strangely and then shook his head as he led her down stairs.

* * *

Dawn was still playing with her smoky-grey kitten when Buffy and Spike descended the stairs. Everyone stopped moving to see the couple. 

"What are you doing up so soon, Buffy?" Giles stepped in front of Spike to take Buffy's arm.

"I was hungry and definitely didn't want to spend the rest of Dawnie's birthday in bed." Buffy said cautiously and Spike nodded his head in approval.

"Good, Buffy, cause we were going to have some cake."

"Buffy, why don't you name the present Spike gave me." Suddenly the kitten jumped into Buffy's lap and snuggled its head against her belly.

"And it can't be Miss Kitty we have claimed that name." Willow said proudly.

"Uhhhh, I have no clue," Buffy looked at Spike for help. "It's up to you, Dawnie."

"Ok."

Anya and Tara came out with the birthday cake and everyone had a very guarded conversation around Buffy while Dawn tried not to bring up the events of the last couple of weeks. It was extremely hard, but they managed to survive the night. Buffy let everyone else do the talking. She didn't find out too much information except that Anya and Xander announced they were engagement. Buffy also learned that Tara and Willow were a couple. Other than that, nothing that would blow the lid off of Buffy's secret came out that night, but she realised as the night progressed that she would need Spike's help to help her fill in the enormous gaps of information that was gone.

* * *

Part 6

  
Spike peeked his head around Dawn's door and smiled; she was tucked up in bed fast asleep with the kitten curled up next to her. The others had left a while ago, insisting they leave Buffy to rest, and after sitting with Buffy for a while, Dawn had gone to bed herself. The excitement of her birthday and having Buffy back had exhausted her. Spike closed the door and walked over to Buffy's room, tapping lightly on the door before walking in. She was sitting on the bed, just looking round at her room.

"Do you think they suspected anything?" she asked worriedly.

Spike shook his head. "So, I'm guessing you want some answers."

Buffy nodded.

"Alright, but let's go downstairs, I don't want to wake Little Bit up."

Taking one last look around the room, which was supposed to be hers and shuddering at the blank void it presented, she followed Spike out of the room and down the stairs.

He motioned for her to sit on the couch, but made no move to sit himself. "Do you want anything to eat? Something to drink?"

"Can I have some water, please?" she asked softly. The politeness almost made him jump. This just wasn't Buffy. Still, at least he was in a position to do all he could to help get her back to the way she was. He walked into the kitchen and as he filled a glass for her he realised exactly what this situation meant. It would be easy, dangerously easy, for him to create the history he wanted her to have. He could tell her anything, that they were dating, engaged, hell, he could tell her they were married and she'd probably believe him. But even as the thoughts entered his mind, he knew he couldn't do it. Whatever lies he told her would just take her one step further away from being the Buffy he had fallen in love with. No matter how much it pained him, or her; he was going to have to be totally honest.

He walked back into the lounge and handed Buffy the glass, which she accepted with a smile. He sat down in the armchair.

"Before I start; I haven't known you as long as some of your friends so there are going to be gaps in what I tell you."

Buffy nodded. "I just hope what you tell me will trigger something. This blank I'm getting; it can't be permanent." 

Spike said nothing for a moment, praying she was right.

"A lot of the stuff I'm going tell you is going to seem unreal. Feel free to ask questions at any point, just believe that I'm telling the truth."

Buffy looked into his eyes, despite not remembering anything about him, he made her feel surprisingly safe. "I trust you."

Under any other circumstances, Spike would have been overjoyed to hear those words coming from her lips. But he knew the only reason she was saying it was because she didn't know otherwise.

"Ok, this is going to take a few days I'd imagine. I guess we'll start with the basics. Your name is Buffy Summers...and you're a Vampire Slayer.

Buffy's eyes widened.

* * *

Buffy sat in the living room as Spike went up stairs to have a shower. He had been right when he'd said the story would be unreal. For the past few nights he'd told her everything he knew about her, her friends and her life. It had sounded like some kind of weird fantasy novel. Vampires, demons, Gods, they were all real, and she fought them...and loved them. Despite the fear she felt at her lack of memories, she was almost glad she couldn't remember Angel. From what Spike had told her, it sounded as though their relationship had been nothing but pain. Pain, she could do without.

Yet despite it all, she still remembered nothing. She knew it all, but only from Spike's stories. She didn't feel it, not even a vague twinge of familiarity. Maybe she was going to be like this forever; living a life she didn't know and carrying a destiny she couldn't use. What was the point of the stupid monks bringing her back when she was no use to anyone? Not even herself.

"Maybe it would be better if I'd stayed dead." she muttered to herself.

"No! Don't ever say that. Don't even think it."

She jumped up from the couch and spun around. Spike stood at the bottom of the stairs, his hair tousled. He was wearing sweat pants and a T-shirt.

"I didn't hear you come down." she said, looking at the floor.

"Obviously," Spike replied. "Now, what's all this daft talk about wishing you were still dead?"

"It's not 'daft talk'." she snapped. "I'm no good to anyone like this. I hate feeling this useless."

Spike walked over and cupped her chin in his hand, forcing her to look at him.

"I won't lose you again," he said softly. "I'm going to get you through this. If there's anything you want, anything I can do, you just ask me."

She looked thoughtful for a minute.

"There is one thing." she said carefully

"What's that?" Spike asked. At this stage he was willing to do anything.

"I want you to teach me how to be The Slayer again."

* * *

It was a little after sundown when Buffy and Spike went to pick up Dawn. They walked side by side in silence for most of the trip until finally Buffy broke the silence.

"I'm kind of nervous."

"About what, pet? Seeing your chums again. You've seen them since you've awakened," Spike had tried to convince her over the last couple of days to change her mind about telling the rest of the Scoobies, but Buffy refused saying that they would only fuss and that she couldn't handle that. "You should"

"Don't say it, Spike. I don't want to talk about it. I am not going to tell them. I can't." Buffy said quietly.

"Ok, pet." He gently held her shoulder and looked at the Slayer. They both inhaled deeply and exhaled at the same time. They looked at each other and began to laugh.

* * *

Xander looked strangely at the couple as they walked through the door, laughing and smiling. He was beginning to wonder when Buffy would have the heart to kick Spike out.

"Hey, guys!" Buffy said looking at Xander, Willow and Anya. Dawn scurried from the back room and grabbed her school bag. She was nearly ecstatic to be going home because of her new and still unnamed kitten.

"How is she?" Dawn asked, hurrying up Buffy and Spike to go home.

"She is doing fine. But she needs a name, Nibblet." Spike said. Buffy smiled at her younger sister. They turned; ready to leave, but Giles stopped them.

"Buffy, I know that this is a bit soon after your ordeal but I was thinking that we could resume your training soon."

Buffy's face nearly drained of all of its blood as she turned back toward Giles. Spike could see the utter panic in her face. "Watcher, she just woke up and last Friday. Give her a break; it's only been a week." Spike sputtered.

"Yeah, Giles, talk about push much." Dawn huffed, putting her hands on her hips.

"Giles, she just woke up she's probably sore and stuff. Give her a break." Willow said, noticing that Buffy looked kind of scared; something that Willow had only seen once before and she didn't like it.

"Alright. Maybe in a week, but you can't neglect your duties, Buffy." Giles replied. 

Buffy smiled and gave a slight wave. "I'll see you later, guys." She grabbed Spike's hand and led him and Dawn out the door.

"Don't THEY look like a happy family." Anya said softly, this statement received a look of death from Xander and Giles.

Willow chuckled. "Come on guys, they went through a lot, just like we did. And we can't say that Spike doesn't care for Buffy. We all witnessed his grief over her death." Willow was suddenly serious during the last part. The room was silent for a minute and then Tara walked in.

"That was Buffy, Spike and Dawn that just left, right?" Tara asked, looking at the faces before her. "They looked kind of cosy."

"True." Giles said, a bit concerned.

* * *

Part 7

Training at the Magic Box late at night was the only way Spike could teach Buffy how to be a Slayer. Spike was basically teaching her from scrap. He began with punches and then went on to kicks and manoeuvres. Buffy caught on quickly on and by the fifth night they were at Offence 101. They began with simple offensive moves first, which Buffy got easily. It wasn't too hard as she threw punches, her natural Slayer power kicking in. She threw kicks and punches wildly and Spike easily blocked all of them.

"Ok, I don't think this is working the way it's suppose too." Spike said, a bit disappointed.

"What? Aren't I doing it right?"

"Yes, but you aren't hitting me. Buffy, I shouldn't be able to block all of your hits. You need to pretend that I am your enemy. That I am one of those vampires who would kill you in a heartbeat."

"But I know that you won't."

Spike vamped out. _Try this on for size_, he thought as he lunged at her. Buffy fell back screaming covering her face she didn't want to see him like that. She hated it ever since the first time that he showed her.

"Buffy?" Spike helped her off the ground and she still refused to look at him. "Buffy, this is what you have to face. You can't hide from it. It's part of me; I can't hide from it either."

Buffy looked up at him. His amber eyes looked into hers, his jagged teeth showing. Buffy pushed him back.

"Fine," Buffy said. "You wanna fight?"

"You know I want to." Spike smiled slightly but that smile didn't last long. Buffy brought a full-out assault on him; he couldn't block the fury that was headed his way. Buffy's kicks and punches came at him with a fury. Until he was pinned against the wall with a stake pressed to his chest. He let his human facade come back and looked at Buffy, her skin flushed, her breathing heavy, and hands trembling. _Ok, the last part is not a good sign_, Spike thought. He took her hand into his and slowly moved the stake away from his heart.

For a minute Buffy was lost in his gaze, and then he quickly slid out from his position on the wall. Buffy stood looking at the wall for a moment and then turned to see, Spike charging at her. They were both knocked to the ground. Buffy recovered, blocking his assault. He grabbed her wrist and spun her around. She slammed against the wall and chip blared in his head, but he remained silent, biting his tongue. She turned around shocked, her eyes opened wide. Spike descended on her and she quickly manoeuvred and snaked out from underneath him. She tried to kick him in the groin but he was ready for that one. Catching her off balance slightly, he turned her around pressing her back against his chest, it reminded him of the last position he had the Chinese Slayer in during the Boxer Rebellion before he sunk his teeth into her neck. Spike needed to make this as real as possible. He kept Buffy's hands wrapped herself and lowered his head to her neck.

Buffy felt a rise of panic in the back of her mind. Something screamed out for her to do something. She waited until he was close enough and then snapped her head back effectively hitting his nose. Spike immediately let go of her and grabbed his nose, howling in pain. Buffy then gave him a roundhouse kick for good measure. Spike stumbled backward, cursing, and toppled over the gymnastics beam, landing hard on his back. His head missed the safety mat and slammed against the hardwood floor and everything went black.

  
* * *

Buffy gasped when she realised what she'd done. Spike was laying on the ground, his human face now showing and his eyes closed.

"SPIKE!" Buffy screeched. She grabbed a towel and lifted his head to put it under him. She grabbed her water bottle and doused him with it.

Spike's eyes fluttered open and he observed the concerned hazel eyes staring at him. "I think that you're ready for patrol, pet." He sat up shakily.

"Sorry." Buffy said, even though she was feeling a little bit proud of herself.

"Don't be sorry. You did great. I think that you are ready for the big bad town called Sunnydale."

"I don't know whether I should be happy about that." Buffy helped him off the ground as the two gathered their stuff to go back home.

* * *

He looked out the window and sighed deeply into the night's sky. In a few hours he would be back to reclaim the woman that he loved.

"Hopefully. If she'll take me back."

"Pardon me, dear?" An eighty-year old woman asked him, she had been asleep most of the trip but now she was wide-awake.

"I was talking to myself."

"About a girl, I assume. Or it could be a man. This is the twentieth-first century." she smiled.

"No, it's a girl." He smiled happily then frowned as he remembered their last conversation. All of the things that he had said and that she had said were hateful and hurtful.

"What happened you two had a fight?"

"Yup. It was kind of my fault."

"It usually is the man's fault." The woman chuckled and then looked at him. "I'm sorry, dear. Being married for fifty-six years; I just know that men cause the troubles."

The young man smiled. "You may be right. It's just that I know things about her and I should have just given her time. I just wanted too much too fast. And I was angry that she couldn't give it."

"Don't worry, dear. How long has it been?"

"Nearly six months. I'm afraid that I am too late."

"No, six months are like a drop in the well. She probably thinks about you a lot more than you think. Have you called her?"

"No I was on a mission in Belize. I'm in the Army."

"Well, dear, I'm sure that she'll be pleased to see you. How much can happen in six months?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told what she go through in six days let alone six months."

"By the way my name is Helen." She stuck out her hand graciously and he took it.

"Riley." He shook her hand gently.

"So where exactly are you going Riley? Los Angeles?"

"Sunnydale."

* * *

"Buffy, I can't believe you are going to wear that skirt. It is mega-short."

"That's that point, D. I plan to attract a lot of attention tonight." Buffy said, smoothing over her skirt and slipping on a black-beaded halter-top.

"D? Since when do you call me D? You sound like Faith."

"Whatever." Buffy turned around pretending to look for something. Faith? Spike had mentioned her briefly but he didn't know much about her except that she did evil things. Buffy picked up an object and looked at it.

"Ohhh," Dawn said. "Spike must have left that in here." Dawn stretched over to grab the ring out of Buffy's hand but stopped. "Reminiscing?"

"Huh?"

"About your engagement to Spike." Dawn smirked, folding her arms in her patented way.

"Ou-our what?"

"Oh, come on, Buffy. Don't act like you don't remember. Willowthe whole spellyou falling in love with Spike. I even remember you coming over here, bellowing at one in the morning after you got the stuff for Giles to Mom about how much you loved him, even though you didn't like him. And blah, blah, blah. You were strung out over him."

"How did Mom take it?"

"Hello!! You were there!!! She was freaking. Mumbling about 'another vampire'. It was cool and you were just so happy telling her about Giles walking you down the aisle and stuff. I don't think I ever saw Mom drink that much alcohol in one gulp."

Buffy smiled, wishing that she could remember her mother and that night, but it was a total blank. She shook her head. Four eyes appeared in the doorway. Two belonged to an adorable kitten and the other two belonging to a handsome vampire.

"You ready to go, Buffy?" He looked at her and the kitten dashed for Buffy entwining itself in her legs. "You look good." Spike turned and left the doorway

Buffy looked down at herself, wondering if he thought the outfit was too much. He didn't seem to like it. Buffy briefly felt self-conscious and grabbed a dress out of the closet.

"What are you doing?" Dawn asked grabbing the dress out of her hands. "Get out!" Dawn shoved her sister out of the door.

* * *

When they walked into The Bronze, they were two leather-covered blondes. Spike was not in his usual ensemble, he wore a dark green silk shirt with lose fitting black leather pants.

"I still can't believe what D told me."

"What were you and Nibblet talking about, pet?" Spike moved closer to her as they walked.

"Just about you and I."

"Huh? What about?"

"Our engagement."

Spike stopped dead in his tracks. There was so many nights that he lay in his bed over the past year, wishing that Willow would try another spell like that. He remembered the feel of her on top of him, kissing him, touching him. He laughed nervously. "That was a spell. I guess Dawn told you."

"Yeah, she told me. But I'm wondering why you skimmed over that part of your history playback." Buffy grinned slyly as they walked into The Bronze.

* * *

"Let's go face the firing squad." Buffy took off her jacket and Spike growled at the guys ogling Buffy.

"Pet, they are your friends."

Buffy sighed. "I know butit's not the same, obviously."

"They walked toward the table where Xander and Anya were sitting. Xander made a face.

"If I didn't have this chip" Spike grumbled and Buffy laughed. The old Buffy would never have laughed at a comment like that. Over the days he realized how different this Buffy was from the old one. If anything she seemed happier, at least after getting over the whole Slayer shock. Buffy and Dawn actually talked more, it had a lot to do with her memories but also Spike knew it was something more. Spike had told her everything about Dawn and their mother. She was glad that Dawn was there to remind her of their mother.

"Spike?" He felt her small warm hand surround his. "Is something wrong? You went quiet. You never go quiet."

"No, luv, everything is fine."

Xander looked at Anya, his mouth still formed in an O and Anya scowled at him with a glare. Spike could have sworn that he heard the whelp growl, which caused him to laugh. 

Buffy knew from Spike's description that they shouldn't act coupley, and hell they weren't even a couple. But the ex-Buffy was definitely not interested in him, although she was civil to Spike; something she couldn't understand. _I must have been blind_, Buffy thought to herself, looking at Spike standing next to her.

Buffy suspected something else was there but she didn't push. Spike had all but confessed his love to her the night she awoke with just one look.

He sat down in the far chair and Buffy sat down next to him. 

"So, Anya how was the market today? I saw the Nortel took a dive today."

"Yes, well, I sold it a long time ago but thanks for your concern."

* * *

Riley wanted to surprise Buffy. He figured that he'd catch her patrolling or at home, but instead her saw her walking into The Bronze with Spike. _They look friendly_, he first thought. But now he was angry, remembering why he left, because he knew deep down that Spike was right and tonight just proved it. He left and Spike won. He really couldn't believe that Buffy was actually going out with Spike. He saw Xander get up abruptly and walk toward the bar with Anya in tow. Riley ducked out of sight but not out of earshot.

"What the hell is Buffy doing here with him?" Xander grumbled after ordering a beer.

"I dunno." Anya said, looking back at the couple. She liked this Buffy; she was fun and liked to hear her stories about money. 

"Ever since you knowshe's been all weird. She's with Spike, like, all the time."

"What are you trying to say, Xander?"

"Well, maybe he did something to her." He looked back over at Buffy and Spike who were talking. "I still have the warped image of the two of them having hot monkey-sex in the cemetery."

Riley nearly dropped his beer as his heart sank.

Xander continued. "I mean, Buffy might not have hated Spike, but the fact that he's living there still; she, you know, had major injuries after what happened, she still might be weak and he's, like, preying on her."

"Xander, Buffy is not being preyed on by Spike. And the cemetery, well, we know the whole reason for that."

"Yeah, but there has been a lot of hocus-pocus during the whole Glory episode and maybe he did something to her. I mean she loved Riley and he left. You know that Anya. I mean Buffy's been through a lot. Losing her Mom and almost losing Dawn. I don't think she knows what she's doing. I *really* don't know what she's doing."

"Getting you all bothered over nothing, Xander. I mean sure some of the things that Spike did over the last couple of months have been bad, but he also helped Buffy too. I just think that Buffy might have a new lease on life. Don't fault her for it, Xander. You fell in love with a demon."

"Ex-demon." he corrected.

"Same diff." Anya replied dragging him back to the table where Willow and Tara joined them.

* * *

Riley stood in total shock, he wanted to strangle himself and now he wanted to strangle Spike for taking advantage of Buffy.

"Xander was right. It has to be a spell." he said to himself as he left The Bronze

  
* * * 

Part 8

"I don't know if this is such a good idea." said Buffy nervously as she and Spike walked towards the cemetery. "What if I'm not ready? What if we come up against a demon you've never seen before? What if--" 

"Bloody hell, woman, you're wearing me out with all these questions." Spike replied good-naturedly. He knew she was nervous about their first patrol; it was to be expected. "You'll be fine, I'll be there to back you up if you need mewhich you won't."

Buffy smiled. Somehow she always felt more confident when Spike was with her. "Ok, let's do it."

They pushed open the cemetery gates and walked in, both armed with stakes and Spike walking a few paces behind her. He'd picked a cemetery which was less active than most of the others. He wanted to ease Buffy in to the slaying gently.

"Just relax, pet, and think of everything we did in training."

Taking a deep breath Buffy raised her head and walked ahead. Spike stayed back but made sure he kept her in sight. Once they got through this first patrol he was pretty sure everything would be okay. He hoped, at least.

As Buffy walked, she did what Spike advised and used her senses. She may not have been able to remember being the Slayer, but it was still inside her. Sure enough she did feel something, and it wasn't Spike. She'd grown accustomed to the way he made her feel; this was something completely different. After a minute she saw him: a regular vamp, heading towards the cemetery gate, obviously looking for a good feed. It was now or never. She charged at the vamp, stake in hand. Unfortunately he heard her and stepped to one side, causing her to miss him completely. They faced each other.

"Slayer? I heard you were in a coma."

She raised her stake. "I got better."

The vampire shrugged and lunged at her. They began to fight.

From a distance, Spike watched her appraisingly. Her technique was a little sloppy but she seemed to be getting the job done. She had the vamp on the defensive and was raining kicks and punches down on him. Spike smiled to himself; the Slayer was back.

Unfortunately, Buffy got a little too confident and left a blind spot open. The vampire seized his opportunity, grabbed her and hurled her into the side of a nearby crypt. She dropped to the floor, stunned. He picked up her dropped stake and took a step forward.

"This time I'm going to make sure you stay dead." he grinned.

Buffy felt the tears burn in her eyes, despite all her previous thoughts, she didn't want to die. She was scared.

The vampire moved in for the kill but was suddenly tackled to the ground. Spike had decided to intervene. He quickly managed to wrestle the stake from the vampire and plunged it into its chest. He climbed to his feet and hurried over to Buffy who was still on the ground where she had fallen.

"You ok?" He asked. She was bleeding from a gash on her temple but it didn't look too serious.

Buffy nodded; fear still etched on her face. Spike offered her his hand. She accepted it and allowed him to help her up. He frowned; he should never have brought her out.

"We're going home." He said curtly before turning and walking towards the gate, not even looking back to see if she was following him. Buffy flinched at the coldness in his voice. He'd never been anything other than patient and gentle with her in the past, she hated the idea that he was angry with her.

She ran after him and caught hold of his arm. He stopped but didn't turn around.

"Spike." she said softly. "I'm sorry, please don't be angry with me. I know I made a stupid mistake, it won't happen again."

He slowly turned to face her and she was amazed to see that there were tears in his eyes. "Angry at you? Buffy, I could never be angry with you. I'm angry at myself."

"What?" Buffy asked with surprise.

"I should never have rushed you into this. I was so desperate to get the Slayer back that I nearly got you killed. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you."

A tear rolled down his cheek and Buffy reached up and gently brushed it away. "It wasn't your fault. You've been nothing but helpful since I woke up, and I never thanked you for it."

She leant up and kissed him gently. "Thank you."

Pulling back she saw something new in his eyes, something which went beyond what she'd seen in the past. Now she saw longing. It was now or never, she leant up to him again and kissed him once more, this time with more feeling. This time Spike responded with equal passion.

As they parted Buffy smiled. "I've wanted to do that for a while now."

Spike was speechless. Buffy took his hand in hers and together they left the cemetery. They didn't see the figure watching them from the shadows, his face a mask of pure hatred.

* * *

Part 9

Spike patrolled alone the next night. It was clear that Buffy needed more training and she didn't want to go just as much as he didn't want her to come. He hated the idea of her being in danger. He'd promised her he couldn't be out long, she was alone in the house and they'd agreed to get a video or something when he got back. She was desperately trying to get some sort of normality in her life and he was doing his best to help, even though living with a vampire and a mystical Key was hardly normal.

He staked a couple of vampires and after scouting the perimeter of the cemetery he decided it was enough and began to walk back towards the gate. He stopped when a figure moved out from the bushes. He raised his stake and lowered it again when he saw who it was.

"Well, well, well. Look who's back from the deepest beyond." he smirked.

"Shut up, Spike." Riley spat. "What the hell have you done to Buffy?"

"Nothing."

"Don't pull that crap with me. I saw you with her last night, in the cemetery. She kissed you!"

Spike resisted the urge to grin as he remembered the kiss. "And? You've been gone six months, soldier-boy. Did you really expect Buffy to sit around and brood over you? She's not Angel, she moved on."

Riley snorted. "To you? I don't think so, there's no way it would ever be you. You're beneath her."

Trying not to flinch at the words, Spike raised his head. "If I'm so 'beneath her' then maybe you'd like to explain why I moved in with her and Dawn over a month ago."

Riley glared at him. "You've done something to her, I know it. A spell. A curse. I'm going to find out what it is. You just stay away from her and Dawn from now on

Spike took a step forward. "What are you going to do? Stake me with one of your little toy stakes again?"

"Thought I'd try the real thing this time." Riley pulled a wooden stake out of his pocket and lunged at Spike who dodged the blow quickly and wrenched his wrist to let go of the stake, which cluttered to the ground. The chip throbbed slightly but as soon as Spike let go Riley's wrist he was fine.

"Tsk, tsk Riley, once bitten twice" A swift uppercut sent Spike back. He flew into the gate, denting it. Spike looked up at Riley in pure shock.

"I can see someone's been taking their vitamins again." Spike stood up, his back silently screaming. He had two options: run or run faster. Spike shook that thought out of his head just before Riley tackled him. They rolled on the grass wrestling for dominance and Spike threw Riley off of him.

"Give me a bloody break! You've been gone for months and now you want to step back into her life like nothing ever happened? Like stuff hasn't happened? I was here when she needed someone and you weren't and it eats you alive that she'd turn to me before you. But the matter of fact is, Charlie; you don't fit in around here anymore. You are out of the picture, Riley. Hell, you aren't even in the same album. So, take some advice from me and piss off. You have no idea what's happened over the last couple of months with Buffy."

"There is one thing I do know. I know that she'd never want you. Not in her right mind, anyway. You did something to her and now I'm going to do something to you," Riley said, a sudden click in the air stopped all logic that Spike could have talked to him about. Spike stared at the barrel of the gun, well, actually the silencer at the end of the gun. Riley smiled. "You can't mess with Buffy like this. I know that you did something to her. She'd never touch you with a ten-foot pole. So, you are going to pay."

"For the love of God, man, you" was all Spike could get out before the first bullet tore through his shoulder.  
Spike looked down at the gaping wound as his blood trickled out of it. "Bloody hell."

Before Spike could even recover from the shock, another bullet tore into his abdomen. The third shot hit his upper right arm effectively immobilising it and the fourth hit his inner thigh.

"Gosh, I'm getting rusty. That wasn't where I was aiming for." Riley looked at the gun and decided fists equal fun. He tossed the piece of metal near the bag he brought and tackled the weakened vampire.

They rolled onto the paved path of the cemetery. Spike got the upper hand with his good arm and punched Riley back, sending rippling waves of pain through his brain. Spike staggered backwards. Riley was on top of him in a second and Spike's skull hit the concrete hard, putting the vampire in a daze. Riley straddled him and rained punches to Spike's face. Spike tried to push off Riley but he was like a wild man and Spike's body throbbed in pain. Riley stopped his assault when he was sure that Spike's pretty little face wasn't so pretty.

Then he felt the rage build in him again as images of Spike and Buffy in bed together rolled into his mind. He palmed Spike's mushy face with one hand and started to bang his head into the concrete. He didn't care the vampire was already unconscious he just wanted the image to stop. And only when it did, did he stop.

Riley looked at the blood on his hands and then gazed down at the bloody pulp on the floor. And gave the limp figure a kick to the ribs.

Despite the thrill it would give him to stake Spike right there, he'd lost the wooden weapon somewhere in the scuffle. He glanced at his watch. The sun would be up in a couple of hours, might as well let nature do its job. He dealt Spike another kick to the ribs, almost relishing in the sound of them breaking. He then turned and headed home. As soon as morning came he was going to the magic shop, at least now Sunnydale had one less vampire to worry about.

* * *

Pain. That was the first thing Spike was aware of as he slowly drifted back to consciousness. There wasn't one part of his body that didn't hurt in some way. After lying still for a few minutes, he decided that opening his eyes might be a good idea. Unfortunately, Riley had done a good job and he could barely open them into thin slits. Still, it was enough for him to be able to see that the sky was starting to lighten. Dawn was approaching. He had to get out of there, but he wasn't sure he could move. Several bones at least were broken and if that included his legs, he was as good as dust.

He slowly sat up, clenching his teeth as the pain of his broken ribs knifed him. It was all he could do to stop himself from screaming. Once the pain had eased a little, he tried to move his legs. They hurt, but he didn't think they were broken. Now, all he had to do was stand. It wasn't as easy as it sounded. Somehow he managed to push himself onto his feet and immediately stumbled as the leg Riley had shot gave way. He caught himself on a headstone and waited for a moment before trying to stand again. He staggered towards the gate; he had to make it out of here. For Buffy's sake.

* * *

He'd made it onto Buffy's street, falling only a couple of times. Despite the fact that what little strength he had was fading fast, he forced himself to smile through the pain. Not far to go, he was going to make it. The sky was a light shade of pink now; there wasn't much time. He tried to quicken his pace a little but that only caused him to stumble and drop to his knees. He picked himself up and carried on. He could see her house now, not far to go. He forced himself to continue despite the fact his body was calling out for rest.

He was in the garden, and his vision was fading. _No! Not now, not when I'm so close. Just a few more steps, please. If I can just call out to Buffy_. His legs gave way and he was unconscious before he could even open his mouth.

* * *

Although it was early, Buffy was sitting downstairs reading her diaries. She'd found them when she'd been exploring her room, trying to figure out where everything was kept. Reading them was weird. Almost as though she was reading about someone else's life and not her own. Still, it was reassuring to see that what she read had backed up what Spike had told her. It wasn't that she didn't trust him; it was just nice to have further proof of his story. It was more detailed too; she was able to see how she had been feeling in all the events that had taken place. The diaries also filled the gaps that Spike had been unable to. She still remembered nothing though, and that was the frustrating thing.

She was distracted from her reading by the sound of a crash coming from outside. She put down the diary and picked up a stake. The sun was almost up, but it was better to be safe. She opened the front door and stepped onto the porch, the stake dropped from her hand. Spike was lying face down on the lawn, just a few feet from the house. For a split second she prayed that he was drunk and had just passed out, but she knew it was something much worse. She ran over to him and rolled him onto his back.

"Oh my God." she whispered in horror. His face was barely recognisable, just one big mass of cuts and bruises. She was pretty sure his nose was broken and he was bleeding from several chest wounds as well as one on his arm and one on his leg. Ignoring the tears pouring down her face, she lifted Spike into her arms and carried him into the house.

* * *

Part 10

Carrying Spike up the stairs, she placed him gently on her bed before running into the bathroom and pulling out every single medical item she could find. She then ran back into her room and sat at Spike's side. With trembling hands she opened the first aid kit and glanced back down at Spike. She had no idea where to start, he'd taught her some basic first aid, but nothing that would deal with wounds this serious. Still, she had to do something.

As carefully as she could, she lifted him into a sitting position and eased his duster off. Placing it on the chair beside the bed, she realised that that had been the easy part. Getting his shirt off was going to be a completely different matter. In the end she decided to solve the matter simply. She pulled a small pair of scissors out of her drawer and cut the shirt off.

The sight she was presented with made her feel nauseous. He chest was literally drenched in blood, pouring from the wounds, which were still bleeding. She put her hand to her mouth and swallowed back the taste of bile. What kind of demon could have done this to him? She ran into the bathroom once more and filled a bowl with warm water and a cloth. She carried it back in and began to gently clean the blood from him. She grimaced as the white cloth quickly turned red, as did the water, but she didn't stop until he was clean. She quickly placed some gauze pads over the holes and taped them in place. She just hoped it would be enough.

She then turned her attention to his arm; she cleaned up the blood and wrapped a bandage tightly around it. Finally she moved onto his leg. Her face flushed red as she unbuckled his jeans and slid them off his legs as carefully as she could. She was too sick with worry to even think about being relieved that he wasn't going completely au naturale. She just wanted him to wake up and be ok.

Once she'd bandaged his leg wound and cleaned up his face as best she could, she took the bowl and the medical supplies back into the bathroom. It was then that she heard him groan. She quickly hurried back into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed beside him.

"Spike?"

He opened his eyes as much as he could and saw Buffy gazing worriedly down at him. He wanted to tell her that he was ok, but instead he began to cough harshly, his whole chest feeling as though it was on fire. Buffy stared in alarm as a small trickle of blood ran down his chin. He was obviously hurt even worse than she had first thought. Once the coughing had stopped, she wiped the blood from his chin. Then she began to cry, it was all too much. She didn't know what to do. She wanted so desperately to make him better but she didn't know how. Spike reached out took her hand in his, squeezing it weakly.

"Blood." he whispered, so quietly she barely heard him.

Of course. Why hadn't she thought of that? Blood would help him heal. She jumped to her feet, ran downstairs, and quickly heated some blood in the microwave. Not even bothering with a mug she took the three bags upstairs and used the scissors to cut them open. She then used one hand to raise his head and the other to hold the bag to his lips. She didn't let go until he'd drained all three bags, then she lowered his head back to the pillow.

"Thanks." he whispered, before closing his eyes and falling asleep. Buffy sat beside him for a while, gently stroking his hair and praying that the blood would be enough to heal him. She felt drained and exhausted, and after a while she climbed into bed beside him. She was careful not to touch him for fear of hurting him but she stayed close in case he needed her. Closing her eyes, she soon drifted off to sleep.

  
* * *

Part 11

Dawn got up early the next morning; Giles had asked for some help in the shop and had even offered to pay her, much to Anya's dismay. She'd agreed of course; extra money was always a good thing. She passed Buffy's closed door and assumed her sister was still asleep. She decided not to disturb her. She made herself some toast for breakfast and then headed out.

Arriving at the shop, she discovered that Giles and Anya weren't the only ones there. Xander had decided to spend the day with Anya, and Willow and Tara were picking up ingredients for a spell.

"I just don't get why he's still there," Xander argued, not hearing Dawn come in. "It's not like he's  
needed anymore."

"Agreed," replied Giles. "She seems to be spending an awful lot of time with him. We've barely seen her sinceit happened."

"Come on, guys," said Willow. "You saw how devastated Spike was when we lost Buffy. He really does love her."

"That's what concerns me," said Giles dryly. "With all this time she's spending with him, we could very well end up with another Angel situation on our hands. I don't think that would be good for her."

"And I suppose we don't get a say in this?" Dawn asked with annoyance. "Perhaps me and Buffy like having Spike in the house. I can't believe you guys want him out after everything he's done for me, for all of us. No one asked him to patrol while Buffy was asleep; he just did it. No one asked him to look after me either. I know he's a vampire but he's always looked out for me, even when it had nothing to do with Buffy."

Giles took on his fatherly tone, which she hated. "Dawn, I realise that you're fond of Spike, and we do appreciate everything he's done, but we just feel that perhaps a little distance is needed. We're not asking him to leave town or anything like that, just to move back into his crypt."

"He can't live there!" Dawn exclaimed. "It's cold, has no electricity and it hasn't even got a bed."

"Come on, Dawnster," Xander tried to reason. "Spike lived in that crypt for two years; I think he can cope."

Dawn opened her mouth to argue back when she saw the door open. Her jaw dropped. Everyone else looked over to where she was staring and their expressions soon matched her own.

Riley stood uncomfortably. He'd wanted to talk to Giles in private and hadn't expected to see the whole gang here. After a minute Xander stepped forward.

"Riley! It's good to see you. When did you get back?"

"A few days ago." He replied.

"That's great! Have you seen Buffy? Does she know you're here?"

Riley shook his head. "That's why I came here. I think there's something wrong with Buffy. I think Spike did something to her."

Everyone immediately looked concerned with the exception of Dawn who just stared at him in disbelief.

"Spike would never hurt Buffy!" she exclaimed.

Giles stepped forward, eyeing the young soldier coldly. "Perhaps you should explain exactly what you mean. I find it hard to believe that Spike would harm Buffy. Your government chip sees to that." _Dear God!_ He thought to himself. _I'm defending Spike here._

"I don't mean he's hurt her physically." he explained. "But he's done something to her. I saw them together in the cemetery the other night. She kissed him."

"Are you sure?" Giles asked with disbelief.

"I know what I saw." Riley replied firmly.

Dawn smiled to herself. It was about time Buffy realised how perfect Spike was for her.

"I think Spike must have cast some sort of spell on her. There's no way she'd go near him."

Willow stepped forward. "Riley, a lot has happened since you left. It might not be a spell you know. Things have changed."

"I agree." said Giles. "But we have noticed some unusual behaviour in Buffy. Perhaps we should talk to Spike about this."

"It's too late for that." Riley said quietly.

Everyone looked puzzled.

"What do you mean?" asked Anya.

Dawn was the first to realise what Riley was implying. She grabbed hold of his arm.

"What did you do to him?" she asked dangerously.

When Riley didn't answer, she let go of his arm and ran out of the door, heading for home. When she was gone Riley looked back at the others.

"Would someone mind telling me what happened while I was gone?"

* * *

Dawn threw open the front door to the house, not caring how loudly it banged.

"SPIKE?" she screamed frantically.

Nothing.

She ran down into the basement and saw that his bed was empty. Tears began to burn in her eyes as she ran back up the stairs and up to Buffy's room. She threw open the door and ran in.

"Buffy, Spike's--"

She stopped and her eyes widened when she saw the bruised and bloodied vampire lying in Buffy's bed. Buffy was sitting beside him, holding a mug of blood to his lips.

"Oh, Spike." Dawn whispered as she walked over to the bed and knelt at his side. Spike finished drinking and gave her a weak smile.

"Hey Little Bit." he croaked

His chest, arm and leg were bandaged and his face was badly swollen. He looked worse than he had when Glory had tortured him. She began to cry. Spike brushed the tears away from her eyes.

"Come on, now, we'll have none of that."

Buffy moved up on the bed, allowing Dawn to sit beside Spike. She reached out and stroked his hair.

"I can't believe he did this to you." she said softly.

Buffy's head snapped up. "You know who did this?"

Dawn nodded. "Riley showed up at the shop. He didn't say what he'd done, just that it was too late for us to talk to Spike. I figured he must have done something, that's why I came home."

Buffy stood up, her voice deadly cold. "Is he still there?"

Dawn nodded.

"I'm going over there." Buffy continued in her icy tone. "Keep an eye on Spike till I get back. There's blood in the fridge but he should try and sleep."

Before either of them could utter another word she strode out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

* * *

Part 12

Riley listened intently as the gang filled him in the past event of the last six months and couldn't believe what he was hearing. Xander and Giles told him everything and Willow added in her comments here and there.

"Joyce is dead? I can't believe it?" Riley gasped and then felt completely guilty because he wasn't there for Buffy.

"Yup, and everything began to fall apart after that. Glory tortured Spike; almost killed him. But he didn't squeal about Dawn for Buffy's and Dawn's sake." Riley's head snapped up at the mention of Spike's name, Xander continued. " Tara got brain-sucked by Glory."

Tara cringed at the thought and Willow grabbed her hand re-assuredly.

"And then Glory found out that Dawn was the key and then we were on the run."

"And Spike helped us out a lot," Willow inserted, getting a glare from Riley. Willow was getting tired of Riley fast. "What the hell do you know? I lost my best friend a month ago only to have her come back as a vegetable for weeks. We had no clue whether she'd wake up or not." Looking at Riley's statement of shook she continued, getting angrier by the second. "Yes, Buffy died. She closed the portal after a Doc cut Dawn open and bled her into the sky so I'm so sorry, Riley, that you don't have the same old Buffy. Shit happens. She died, monks brought her back to life and Spike has been helping her out ever since. And even if Buffy did kiss Spike so what?"

"Something is wrong with her, that's what."

"I think Riley maybe right. If Buffy kissed Spike, no matter what has happened I don't think that she would have feelings for him she has made it very clear." Giles said concerned.

"Hello? Two people"

"He's not a person." Riley corrected Willow. She sighed, throwing her hands in the air and sat down in a chair.

"Come on, Will; he's right." Xander agreed. "She's been acting weird lately. Ever since"

"Her rebirth." Anya finished.

"Yes, Anya. Her rebirth." Xander held Anya close to him and kissed her cheek. "Willow she's been avoiding us and when we see her, she barely says a word unless it's about Spike or Dawn. Remember when Angel called you. He said that she was kind of edgy when he talked to her. And Giles and her training. She has been avoiding that like the plague. She barely patrols anymore and when she does Spike seems to be by her side constantly. I think Riley could be right."

Suddenly the Magic shop door burst open as Buffy stormed into the store. Riley's statement softened as he watched her flowing blond hair flutter around her shoulders, her small frame exuding energy and power.

Buffy smiled as she approached Riley who immediately brought down his guard, he thought he was the biggest idiot not trying to work it out with her and for leaving so soon.

"Riley?" Buffy asked as she looked at the hulking figure in front of her.

"Buffy!" Riley smiled as he looked down at his first love. Her hazel eyes looked back up at him. She looked up at him lovingly and he nearly melted. Then the surprise and warmth in her eyes turned to sudden hatred. And before he knew what happened he was reeling from the hardest slap to the face that he ever felt. His head snapped back with such force that his neck cracked. He brought his hand to his face and realised that his nose was bleeding.

"Buffy!" Giles exclaimed as the Scoobies watched in shock.

"What, Giles? That's just the start." Buffy reeled back her hand for another blow but Riley saw that coming and Buffy knew that he'd counter this and that he would leave open a vulnerable spot instead. She kneed him in the groin and punched him hard in the face. Riley went down like a sack of potatoes. Xander grabbed Buffy's hand before she could land another blow to Riley. Giles rushed to Riley's side and Willow rushed to Buffy's.

"What is going on?" Giles asked Buffy angrily.

"Why don't you ask him? Ask him what he did to Spike. Ask him what he did to someone who was unable to protect himself against him. He's an animal. I can't believe I used to go out with you." Buffy shrieked her hands shaking with rage.

"Buffy" Riley sputtered out a trail of blood leaving his split lip. "He's done something to youa spell. Something."

"Spike has done nothing to me." Buffy yelled, lunging for the soldier again but Xander grabbed her waist, dragging her back toward the table. Tara and Anya stared at the Slayer in disbelief.

"Riley, what happened to Spike?" Willow asked.

"I-I" Riley searched Buffy's face and saw the loathing in her eyes.

"He beat him senseless, shot him even though he knew it wouldn't kill him and then left him for the sun. If I hadn't found him lying unconscious on our lawn he'd be dust right now."

"He's done something to you; I saw you kissing him."

"So what? You don't have a claim on me." Buffy stated the obvious.

"Buffster, what is going on with you and Spike?" Buffy spun around to face Xander who had let her go finally.

"Nothing is going on with me and Spike. He's not my enemy or yours." The Slayer looked at the gang.

"Buffy, you've been acting weird ever since" Xander never knew the right word to say and Anya always had to say something.

"Your awakening," Anya said and then whispered to Tara. "He has issues."

Tara looked at Anya strangely, and nodded in agreement.

"Weird? I have not," Buffy began to feel a little panicky at this point; they had been talking about her. "I'm the same old Buffy."

"You are but" Willow whispered. Buffy looked at her best friend. "We don't do 'Espresso Wednesdays' anymore when you and I talk about everything. You are rarely at the shop. I mean, Buffy, you just kind of left us high and dry and I understand that things have changed sincebut you used to talk to me about everything, and now you don't. Even after your" Willow, like Xander, choked on those words every time they were supposed to some out. "You never came and talked to me about it."

"Willow there was nothing to talk about. It was something that happened." Buffy tried to assure, but the tears in Willow's eyes brought tears to her own.

"I'm sorry, but after what you said to Dawn on the tower I thought" Willow looked at Buffy's face. She observed the Slayer's searching glance as if trying to recall the event and she instantly knew. Giles also looked up at Buffy and could see the confusion marring the Slayer's face.

Buffy's breathing began to quicken and Willow watched as her chest heaved up and down in panic, and Willow knew it was much deeper. "What do you remember, Buffy? About everything? About all of us? About your life?"

"I know that you are my best friend, Giles is my Watcher, all the rest, Willow." Buffy replied.

"Fine, what's Xander's middle name?

Buffy stared blankly for a sec and Willow continued.

"What does Faith look like? Who is Kendra? Kakistos? Sid? Nancy? Jonathan? Sunday? Kathy?"

Some of the names seemed vaguely familiar but she couldn't think of all of the people whose names were shooting at her.

"Buffy?" Giles asked as Riley sat down in the chair with a towel that Anya had brought holding it to his lips. "Buffy what do you remember?"

"II remember everything. What kind of question is that?" Buffy laughed nervously, looking at the accusing eyes that stared at her.

"Fine." Xander said. "What did I tell you the night Riley left?"

Buffy was a complete blank for the last question. And now they all knew.

"Buffy?" Willow stepped in front of her best friend and held her shoulders. Buffy continued to stare at the ground. And then finally drew her eyes up to Willow. Tears threatened to spill from the brims as she looked sadly into her best friend's eyes. 

"Willow, I" Buffy choked on the words as her best friend hugged her tightly. "I don't remember anything. When I woke up I didn't know who any of you were and I was scared. An-and Spike knew as soon as he saw me that something was wrong and I begged him to help me. I didn't want you know. I wanted to remember on my own and I trusted him."

"You should have come to us, Buffy." Willow whispered in her ear.

"But I trusted Spike and he told me to tell you guys, but the looks on your faces when I first saw youI didn't want to disappoint you. I just couldn't" Buffy cried on Willow's shoulder.

Riley got up painfully and walked over to Buffy and gently put his hand on her shaking shoulder. Willow quickly let go of her friend. Buffy turned expecting to see Giles or Xander but instead she saw Riley and her face instantly went cold. Riley flinched before he started. "Buffy, we can help you remember things that Spike doesn't know about. He probably only told you stuff that he thought you should know and he probably tainted a lot of it."

"Spike told me everything he knows about me and that he did." Giles and Xander both looked sceptical at her about that. "He told me about Angel and you. And the reason we broke up" She looked at Riley. "About the Buffy-bot, about parent-teacher night, him kidnapping Xander and Willow, him trying to kill me a couple dozen times, Adam, his chip, Glory, and everything that he could. The good, the bad and the ugliesand, yes, I know he loves me."

"No! He thinks he's in love with you." Riley corrected.

Buffy looked at him and then smiled slightly through her tears. "He is."

"Buffy, we are just very concerned that you didn't come to us but we understand." Giles assured stepping toward the Slayer. Riley moved, giving the Watcher and Slayer a bit of room. Giles pulled Buffy into a warm embrace. "I should have known. I should have realised. But, Buffy, we are here for you now and anything that you need you can come to us for help. We are your family. And we will be there for you." Giles' father like toned continued on. "We need to find out exactly how much you know and what exactly Spike has filled you in on."

* * *

Buffy stayed at the shop for the next three hours, answering questions and finding out a lot of stuff that Spike didn't know. Riley added his two cents every time he could, but he seemed to be getting dirty looks from everyone by the end of the session. Buffy called home every half an hour to check up on Dawn and Spike. Dawn relayed that he hadn't woken up and Buffy was getting worried. Giles reassured her that Spike would be fine and they continued to tell her stories about her life in Sunnydale. Most of the stuff she didn't believe, and a lot of it was laughable and tragic.

Xander ordered pizza, putting all of Buffy's favourite toppings on it. They laughed and drank cherry cokes and caught up. She finally felt like they were family. These people whom she had avoided for the last couple of weeks were funny and interesting and fallible. But most of all they cared.

Buff went in the training room and looked at the array of weapons and the locker that she kept a lot of her stuff in. She knew that he had followed her in there but she didn't want to acknowledge him.

"Buffy, we need to talk." he said softly.

"About what, Riley?"

"About us. We had something good for a while, Buffy, and I came here to get it back. I was hurting and I couldn't deal with it and I went about it the wrong way. I thought that we could go back to the way things were but I see that we can't. And I have a feeling that we just weren't meant to be."

Buffy finally turned to face him. "I don't think so either, Riley. A lot of things I remember were from my diary. I wrote down the way you made me feel and the way that you hurt me and I don't think that I want to go there with you again."

"But it won't be. It'll be a clean slate."

"I think that that slate is already dirty. You jumped to conclusions and you went after someone that I care about because you thought it was what you should do. You think you know me so well and that the good old Buffy wouldn't kiss Spike of her own free will. But she did. I did. When he saved my sister and I. When he didn't tell Glory about Dawn. Spike, even though the gang doesn't believe it, loves Dawn and I. I trust Spike when he says that he won't hurt me. He's that honest. I see it in his eyes. I trust him and he trusts me, which is more then I can say for you. I think that you should leave, Riley. I think that you should go and find a woman that is perfect for you and that will make you happy. Because if the Buffy before didn't, I certainly won't. I'm in love with Spike and I can't believe that it was you who made me realise that." Buffy walked out of the training room, leaving the soldier staring at the blank space before him.

* * * 

Buffy walked home feeling happy, she walked home to be greeted by Dagon; that's what they named Dawn's kitten, after the Dagon Sphere. As Dagon rubbed herself against Buffy's legs, Dawn hurried down the stairs, picked up the kitten, and filled Buffy in on Spike's progress.

"Dawn, we need to talk."

"Yes, Buffy?" Dawn cradled the green-eyed kitten in her arms.

"There's some stuff going on that you need to know about. Some stuff about me."

Dawn looked nervously at her sister; usually these talks meant only bad things happened or were about to.

Buffy continued. "When I woke up II sort of didn't recognise any of you guys."

Dawn looked confused. "But you did eventually. I mean you knew our names and stuff and that I was your sister and stuff."

"No, I didn't."

"Then how did youSpike. That's why he was all silent at my party." Dawn realised. "But you didn't want to tell me. You didn't know me. You didn't remember me. But you didit came back to you right? Your memory and stuff came back? Buffy?"

"Dawn, my memory hasn't come back and I don't know if it will. I just know that I have a sister and friends that love me and care for me, and that want to help me." Buffy brushed a strand of hair away from Dawn's face.

"But you don't remember me or Mom?" Dawn choked out.

"Dawnie, I realise that I need you to help me remember everything. There is so much that Spike can't tell me but you can. And the gang helped me out a lot and now I need my sister. I need you to guide me."

Dawn gave her sister a big hug. "Why didn't you say something before? Actually wait. I can finish that one. You didn't want to worry us, and you didn't want us to be hovering." Buffy smiled at her sister. "You sure still do Buffy things."

Dagon chased after a rubber ball and the two girls, suddenly distracted, laughed as the kitten skidded across the parquet floor.

"We can start 'Buffy 101' tomorrow. Tonight I think that you should help Spike; he's really hurt." Dawn paused, picking up Dagon. "Buffy, what exactly did you and Spike do that made Riley that angry?"

Buffy stared blankly, trying to think of a lie.

"And don't tell me 'playing checkers'. I've heard that before and I didn't believe it then."

Buffy laughed and Dawn hurried up the stairs giggling.

* * *

When Buffy reached her room, Spike was still sleeping. Dawn had redressed his wounds, which were healing quickly although his face was a mass of cuts and bruises. She sat on the bed and watched him for a while. She couldn't help thinking that he was the most beautiful thing that she had ever seen. He was a survivor; a champion in his own right but definitely not conventional. She grabbed some clothes and went to have a shower.

* * *

Buffy grabbed a bag of blood from the fridge, warmed it in the microwave, and went up stairs with it. She quickly went to her room with the warm liquid and propped Spike up gently, putting the mug to his mouth. His vampire instinct kicked in and woke him up. He drank it quickly, still in a sleepy haze, opening his eyes when he had finished. Buffy smiled at him and gave him a gentle kiss. His eyes closed and he fell asleep, a small contented smile on his face. She stroked his hair for a few minutes, just thanking whoever could hear that he was ok. Finally she pulled the covers back over him and curled up beside him. She was soon sound asleep.

* * *

"I'm sorry, Buffy." Kendra smiled slightly.

"About my mind? My memories? S'ok." Buffy shrugged as they watched the sleeping vampire, his face healed, and his form peaceful and still "Can I have a lifetime to make new ones?"

"Not a lifetime. But make every new one count. Make every moment seem like it's your last. And, Buffy?"

"Yes, Kendra?"

"Always remember who loves you. And no regrets."

Buffy smiled at the fading vision before her. "No regrets."

* * *

Part 13

Things had definitely changed after Riley left. Buffy went to visit Angel and Faith. She need to know things that the others couldn't tell her and after her conversation with Faith, Buffy realised that Kendra was right live every moment like it's your last. Buffy was tired of trying to search for memories. What she really needed to do was make some of her own.

* * *

Spike couldn't believe that he was actually happy to patrol. It had been nearly three weeks since he took his beating at the hands of Captain Cardboard and was definitely looking for some demon payback. Tonight was basically uneventful. So he decided to head home. Home. He thought, nearly tripping over the curb. He laughed as he walked down the cemetery pathway.

* * *

"Well, are Dagon and Miss Kitty getting along?" Buffy asked.

"Yes, Buffy. Thanks for letting me sleep over at Willow and Tara's. Dagon says thanks too. Hey she's beating up Miss Kitty for the fuzzy mouse. I'll see you tomorrow, Buffy." With that Dawn hung up the phone.

Buffy looked at the room a total glow as the soft lights flickered magically. She sighed as she looked at the whole room. She hoped that everything was right and perfect as she quickly dashed up stairs.

Spike had no clue what was happening when he walked into the house. The soft glow and smell of scented candles were spread throughout the house. Spike was about to call to Buffy when he saw the white rose petals leading a trail up the stairs. He followed, a smile creeping over his face. He felt like he was about to burst and he definitely didn't know what to expect. Especially when the trail led to the bathroom. Now he was confused.

The shower was running and there was a pile of folded clothes on the chair. Spike frowned in confusion and walked over. There was a note on top of the clothes.

_Spike_

_Have a shower, get changed and come downstairs._

_Buffy._

He shrugged and decided to play along, stripping out of his clothes and stepping under the warm water of the shower. Once he was done, he dried himself and put on the clothes Buffy had left for him, a black silk shirt and a pair of black trousers. He had no idea where she'd gotten them from, or how she'd known his size, but they fitted perfectly. Now that he was ready, he opened the bathroom door and went downstairs.

The room was the same as it had been when he'd first gotten home, only now there was music playing softly in the background and the table had been set. He walked over and smiled. There was a rose and some candles in the centre of the table and two large dishes, one containing Spicy Buffalo Wings and the other containing Flowering Onions; his two favourite dishes.

Buffy stepped out from the kitchen and Spike's jaw dropped slightly. She was wearing a deep red, floor length, evening dress and her hair was piled up on her head with a few loose tendrils hanging down. She looked stunning.

"Are you going to sit down?" she asked softly.

Not taking his eyes off of her, Spike dropped down onto the chair and watched as she took a seat opposite him.

"Umwhat's all this?" he asked when he finally found his voice.

"Just my way of saying 'thank you'." she replied, pouring some wine into his glass and then hers.

Spike gave a small smile. This was possibly the happiest night of his life. "You didn't have to do this you know."

"I wanted to."

They ate in silence and when they had finished, Buffy stood up and walked around the table so she was stood beside him. She held out her hand.

"Dance with me?"

Spike smiled, took her hand, and stood up. As if on cue, a new song began to play.

Buffy guided Spike into the centre of the room and rested her head on his chest. Spike flinched and took a small breath. Buffy looked up at him questioningly.

"Still a bit tender." He explained.

Buffy bit her lip and reached up to brush her fingers over the faint marks that still marred his face. She had come so close to losing him that night, but it had also made her realise something.

"I love you." she whispered.

Spike felt as though his heart would burst. He never dreamed he'd hear those words come from her lips; the same lips that were now pressed against his own. He returned her kiss with the fire, passion and love, in which it was given.

Finally they parted.

"I love you, too."

The song ended and Buffy took his hand and lead him upstairs with Kendra's words still ringing in her ears.

_No regrets_

The End


End file.
